The Great Escape!

The Best distance for now

2006-05-26T02:24:00.000+08:00

It was always going to go wrong the moment the decision to rebel came about but yet the decision was made not out of logic but of the heart.

Less the person u want me to be.
More like those who let u down in the past.

Pls understand that HE is still in the picture
contrary to what the outside looks like but whatever perception
u have its yours to have....

Till the day I overcome myself. Who knows?
Someday We'll Know...Someday indeed.

May all your aspirations and hopes come to be this season!
Jia You! no matter what... no matter what....Cheering u on.

Monday Monday.

2006-04-17T21:27:00.000+08:00

The computer fixed itself by some amazing chance. Wonder if thats so great a thing. Great to be able to check emails and all that but perhaps I wish that it had stayed spoilt a little longer (I.E after the exams). Well, not everything works out the way its meant to be.

Exams Exams....what am I to make out of you. Been facing u so many times at so many different stages of my life. The thing about exams is that time always seems to accelerate and slow down at will.... When you are sitting down at the desk tryin to get in a few hours of study..time seems to come to a crawl.. that will be all good if it means u can study better but my brain also seems to slow down..finding myself rereading the same qn 3 times to make sense of it.

Been encouraging to see in my inbox so many encouraging stories from the cg. Its great to see the spark of hope and excitement in pple's testimonials.

Caught an episode of "So you think you can dance?" just now. There's something intriguing about the show that just draws me in strangely. I dont appreciate dance.
I just love the way the dancers on the show compete against one another and themselves. How dancers from different styles find themselves having to learn a totally foreign style in a short few days or face elimination. The one who can handle all dance styles and excel are the ones who didnt get eliminated in today's episode.

Guess that quite sums up life too. One must do one's best in whatever situation one find oneself in. Sometimes the hand life throws you, you just got to take it on and play it. You got to play the hand you have not what you dont have. The hand may be bad or it may be good but u just got to use whatever u got and give it your best shot. Been thinking hard lately whether I've been giving it my best shot in whatever I have been doing. Or have I been letting circumstances(Excuses) get the better of me. I find myself asking myself this question a lot lately... " What ever happen to your determination, Qx?" Where's the fire?

2006-04-17T21:23:00.000+08:00

Something I used to have.

2006-03-31T23:54:00.000+08:00

And as hard as he is being pulled... the stubborn mule refuses to budge from disaster

King or Cripple

2006-03-06T15:24:00.000+08:00

King or cripple what have I become?
Beneath these kingly robes there lies a fragile man
What made me a king can sometimes crippleAll that you give can sometimes rob my innocence

Why do you let us walk upon a cliff so steep
When deep below the sea there lies a bed of gold
And if this should be our battle place
Don't let me fall, don't let us fall

Keep me, keep me, keep me, keep me

I love to hold the hand of one who healed the blind
And saw the leper run into your arms of love
King or cripple, they were the same to you
You took the broken man and you treat him like a king

2006-03-06T15:21:00.000+08:00

King?

2006-03-06T15:20:00.000+08:00

Or Cripple? They're all the same to him.

Back In Singapore

2006-02-02T12:18:00.000+08:00

So I'm back in Singapore. It was a short interesting few days over at Penang. Will miss the swing though...

Came back in afternnoon yesterday, to our amazement... the house was... spotlessly clean! My sis boyfriend was supposed to just come feed the fishes and her hamster while we were away. Apparently he did more than that. He absolutely cleaned our house.Cleaner than if we ever did so ourselves. Even my room! Gosh...
The sweetness of this guy. Hope my sister stays with him forever haha

Went to White Sands mac in late evening to do a bit of studying and catching up with kenneth. Studied a bit but talked quite a bit too. NUS Arts really that siong ar...
The moment he came though I almost left due to an unexpected call but in the end decided to stick to studying. Kenneth updated me on the rest of the 'Orcs' and how they were doing. They had a meet up recently but I was away in Malaysia. Its interersting to see everyone of the 'Orcs' pursuing different agendas nowadays.
Hmm... Even my self.Interesting.

Went back made some phone calls and then slept away the tiredness of the travelling from Penang.

Exams round the corner hope everyone will study !

Another hot day in Penang

2006-01-31T19:41:00.000+08:00

Well it was another hot day in Penang. Today I dedicated to attacking the book I had started yesterday. Woke up had a quick lunch washed then launched straight into 'Norwegian Wood' again. By time I was done it was 4 in the afternoon. Wow, not bad... I thought to myself..well done.. The book was a good book, when the author can create a plausible and real people that live in that world...u know that it is a good book. The book was set in 1960s Japan though I have no idea how it was like back then in 1960s Japan I bellieved every word the author spun. What a good book.....

Finishing the book, I realised I was alone at home again except my grandma and dad who were takin an afternoon nap. The rest had gone shopping again.

Rewarding myself I fixed myself the same drink I made yesterday and made my way to the swing again. Again, I positioned myself very carefully...very deliberately on the left hand side of this 2 person swing. I took great care not to intrude on the right hand side of the swing.

Then I swung and drank.

Swung & drank to that new beat in my head. "Again they have gone hard to work ...so that your mind can go home.."
Swung and sipped my drink as i went into a sort of rhythm on this very hot day in Penang.

The sky is always perfectly blue and infinitely high on days like this. Never mind that it was burning hot. I like the sun. I dont really like the cold. I hate the cold especially rainy nights at 2 plus in the morning.

I stared at my own 2 feet as they swung up & down in front of me as I swung on the swing again. Up and down Up down. So nice. So predictable. Up and down. This much I can control..the swinging of my 2 feet up & down in front of me.

Then I stopped. Stopped & looked at the silence around me. The old lady neighbour watering the plants next door.The traffic, always the traffic..constant traffic...as constant as that famiiar feeling. People walking around , some purposefully, some who look troubled & lost, " I'll like to buy the world a coke & keep them company..."

Still, it was all too fast for me. I just want to stay here a while more. Just a little while more. "Have to take cab liao we are late...."

The world has gone ahead of me again. I will just have to work harder and catch up with evrybody I guess:) Definitely.

Went back to the kitchen to fix my second mug of drink where i encountered my grandma. Asked me whether i wanted a bowl of Penang laksa in case i was hungry. I said sure... she went to the back to get the laksa. Gave me the perfect chance to fix up my second drink. When she came back I took the laksa from her and just ate with she looking at me. I have no idea what she can be thinking, my grandma. Staring at her eldest male grandson what can she be thinking? Too many possibilities...I could only eat the laksa. She came to Singapore to stay with my family frm Dec till mid january. More than once she saw me coming home at 6 in the morning. I didnt even think she had anything to say about that. Till Penang.

My sister and younger cousin(no boyfriend one) came back home from the shopping. I returned the book to my aunt and said, "Finished." My perfect escape. Played "Taboo" with my sis, cousin and brother till now. Till I am bloggin now. Half an hour before I go out to eat again.

We are such pigs my family. Last night went to this chinese restaurant with ok food but slow service... tonight just going to good old gurney drive for some authentic hawkker food.

I think i need water. Second drink wasntt that good an idea I think. Never mind, a good plate of Penang fried kuay teow will solve everything. Yummy.

Wonder how everyone in Singapore is doing. Hope everyone is having a good time.

~In the end maybe they are not so red:)

Hot lazy day in Penang

2006-01-30T23:52:00.000+08:00

Woke up almost 1 pm in the afternoon today, the previous night KTV session lasted longer than anticipated. We all sang till about 2 in the morning. KTV with french people... never thought it would ever come to pass.

Woke up to find that lunch was almost ready. Good all the sleeping has made me hungry. Apparently the whole family went to the temple without me in the morning as I was sleeping like a dead log. Not too sure whether they are angry with me over it...apparently they tried to wake me but to no success... My Uncle in law and my aunt both had something to say though bout my tardiness in waking up so late. Feeling almost sheepish with the rebukes I went to take a quick washup then joined in for lunch. Lunch as usual is a feast in our family. (Do we really need that much food?) Assam fish, belechan chicken wings, fish maw soup,steamed chicken, Lor Bak, Fried Kang Kong, Fried spinach, Achar plus Penang Laksa. Anyway surprisingly my appetite was good and I promptly stuffed myself with all these good food.

After lunch I settled down in the living room. We had guests visiting. That was when I spied it...this thick novel... "Norwegian Wood" by Haruki Murakami.. it was lying on the living room table. Even though it may seemed rude with guests around...I thought hmmm maybe I'll just sneak a peek inside the first few pages. I was hooked by the 2 pages. There was just something magical about the way this author writes... the words simple as they maybe just draw u in... yup.. its like something formless wrapping itself around u..like a cool evening breeze snaking its way over u. Thats bout the only way I can describe this book. It just sucks u in. The guests disappeared as I just read on. At this point my aunt ( the one in the editorial business) noticed her nephew was getting abit absorbed gazing laser beams into the book. "Hey, boy thats my book. Good read isnt it? Im halfway through..U want to borrow it?" I looked her way and gave a beaming smile..."Yar..its real good stuff."
She agreed then to let me read finish first but I have to return her before i go back singapore. Piece of cake..I read fast especially good books like this, I thought.

The house then started to empty, Aunt brought my cousins and sister to the shopping mall, my bro went with my mum, second aunt and uncle in law to do some hiking in Penang hill. Rejecting my mum's plea for me to join them proved a bit tricky, I had already joined her the day before and didnt think too much of climbing the same hill twice in 2 days.
So there I was alone with my book in the living room, yay!

I thought maybe a change of venue would be good for me to devour the book, the living room was a bit hot and stuffy....
I decided then on the swing under the tree in the little garden we have outside the house. On my way out to the swing past the kitchen I decided to fix myself a little drink. I spied a bottle of Absolut rasberry vodka took it, opened the fridge to look for an appopriate mixer and decided on "Peel Fresh White Grape juice with Aloe Vera". Clutching the big mug of Vodka Grape juice in one hand and the book in the other I marched triumphantly to the swing. A slow breeze was cutting through the hot afernoon just I sat myself on the left hand side of the swing. Perfect. And so I read. Read with an appetite I didnt know I still had for books. Read and allowed the author to work his magic on me. The Vodka grape juice tasted wonderful though I suspect my hand was a bit heavy on the vodka... I drank and I read, all the while swinging on the swing. A gentle swinging motion accompanied the wonderful story spun by the author... swinging, swinging... I didnt know I could find it like this. Finding it while swinging on a swing on a hot yet breezy day, reading and drinking vodka.

I kept at this for most of the afternoon then i decided to go back into the house for a quick toilet break and refill of my drink.
I emptied my bladder but decided not to have another mug of vodka. I filled it up with water instead. I waltzed my way back to my swing and continued reading.

I was only able to continue for a few more pages though. I put down the book, picked up the mug of water and drank. I quickened the speed of my swinging on the swing as I made my way to the halfway mark of my water(it was so very very hot....) I stopped swinging and put the mug down in front of me on ground.

The swing I was seating on was a 2 seater swing. I was sitting on the left hand side. I listened to the sounds of this very hot afternoon, the neighbour's dog barking, the sound of someone watering plants next door, the constant sound of traffic and I listened to myself. I picked up the book, closed it properly then placed it down again. I looked at the empty seat next to me on this 2 seater swing, lingered for a moment on it then looked up quickly at the afternoon sky. Patches of the sky spilled through the openings of the leaves of the tree the swing was under. Pieces of blue spilled through the green and brown of the tree branches. It was then I felt something brushed against my leg.

It was Ash, our dog. An average sized male dog. He sat down at my feet wagging its tongue at me.

I smiled at him and stroked his black coat of fur.
"How did you know Ash?, How did you know?" I questioned the dog on this very hot day in Penang.

~Thoughts rearranged, familar now strange..all my plans drifting on the wind.....

Penang Day 3

2006-01-29T10:16:00.000+08:00

Wow, Im blogging again. Perhaps Im just in love with my cousin's Apple IBOOK. Im waiting for my family to be ready to leave the house for visitation. How come I wake up the latest but end up the first to get ready? Haha

Woke up with a bit of headache, slept late last night because instead of sleeping like everyone I caught a DVD "Broken Flowers" before I slept. It was a pretty good show, a man trying to find his lost son with the catch that he has no idea where to start except his countless ex-lovers from a lifetime of non-commital relationships.

Anyways it was almost 4 when I finished watching as it was already very late when I reached home. Went to this very cool new bar/pub in Penang after my family reunion dinner. My Aunt brought me,my sister, my 2 cousins,cousin's french boyfriend and her 2 foreign guests, Frederic and Emily to the place. Penang has certainly changed alot since I last came back. The place was reconstructed from an old bungalow. Place is simply huge and it has a nice cosy ambience to it. Place is called "Bhagra" I think. Played Pool with Frederic and Benjamin(cousin's boyfriend). Im not very sure he is smoking me but benjamin told me that whenever we fouled we must give the opponent 2 shots? I was puzzled but well... I was thinking the french have very weird pool rules...somemore last black ball cannot hit direct in, must come off table!! Even when got direct shot! The crazy French! Anyway I lost cos I came off table (as per the weird rule) and hit black ball plus my own white ball... Crap!

We sat in 2 cars, I was in the car with my aunt,Frederic driving plus his 26 year old daughter, Emily. I can say this was the first time I ever talked with a french girl. (I was mistaken in my earlier post I assumed they were German, Frederic & Emily, They are French!) She's apparently working in a advertising firm in Paris. One of the biggest in Europe according to her. This is the first time she's been to Malaysia. The only other Asian countries she has been to is Singapore and Cambodia. Asked her about life in Paris and the weather over there (I'm lame and boring I know). Apparently she's into Skiing during winter and loves the snow. She's also a catholic though she only goes mass during Christmas. Asked her about the food and she said she doesnt really like spicy food, though she likes going to Asian restaurants in Paris.

Oh yar, the both of them also joined us for our reunion dinner along with Benjamin.. It was cool, the whole family plus 3 french people. They brought French wine and we all had a little to drink. Benjamin was real funny when we asked him to do the honours of opening the wine, everyone just stopped and stared at him. Then he said, " A frenchman opens a bottle olf french wine and the whole world stops and look at him, its too much for me!" Lol.

Well, its almost time for me to go. Going KTV tonight after all the visitations with my cousins, yay! happy CNY to all!

~ Distance so far yet its ok...somehow... have a good day wherever u may be!

In Penang

2006-01-28T13:52:00.000+08:00

Here I am in Penang now. Just had a big feast with all entire extended family. 'Extended' to the full extent of the word. My Aunt, the editor one with access to free tickets to seemingly all the big concerts, brought a German friend, Frederic, along with his daughter, Emily, to join us for this Chinese New year Reunion festival. He's a real nice man wanting to help out with preparation for lunch and talking to everyone. He really throughly enjoyed the lunch just now, can see he really wanted to try out all the food he has never tried before.

My Cousin, who is also studying for the same degree as me but is doing so in Kuala Lumpur, also brought her boyfriend, Benjamin, back for this reunion. He is french! Goodness, this is really getting to a bit of United Nations kind of gathering. He's also pretty nice. He and me spent the morning cuttting the beancurd skin for my sister and other cousin for them to wrap their 'Lor Bak'. (Pork wrapped in beancurd skin for those who dont know). A Singaporean and Frenchman wrapping 'Lor Bak' in Penang, Malaysia. How incredible is that!

Yi Ching, my cousin and Benjamin seem really happy together. Before I came to the room to do some blogging, I was actually in the living room. Yi Ching and Benjamin were all cuddly and hugging after lunch also in the living room, so I decided to abandon my newspaper reading and give them some privacy:) Benjamin lost his luggage at the airport while travelling from Europe to Penang. Airport security is pretty bad in Penang it seems, anyway they have found it I think and they will be claiming back the luggage at the airport. I will be following the car because apparently they are also going to go to the local shopping mall. Lets see what I can buy shall we....

Its been a good time so far. Im glad I came back. The first thing my grandma when I arrived in Penang was to remind me just how long it has been since I came back. Not in an accusing manner but just a gentle reminder that the family in Penang has been misssing me and havent seen me for really such a long time. Being with all my family and hanging out with my cousins just manages to bring a bright smile on my face.

My Aunt has been asking me how was the Backstreet Boy's Concert. Lol. Because she was the one who gave me the tickets. Hmm.... How should I reply her....

The weather's here very hot and thus almost fell sick yesterday. Feeling much better though after 'hibernating' for 12 hrs. 12 hours! I havent slept this much for ages. I also slept at 11 pm, also something new as I have't been able to put myself to sleep till the wee hours of the morning lately.

Everybody back in Singapore must be busy preparing for the Reunion dinner. This is really the time of the year for our family. I really hope evrybody enjoys their reunion dinner later! I shall now make my way to the kitchen and see what i can possibly help out with.

Given a choice I hope u dance too:)

Going Away for a while

2006-01-27T04:33:00.000+08:00

Its been ages since I've gone back Penang, Malaysia with my family. For those who dont know yet both my parents were born in Penang. Yup, I will be taking a short trip over the weekend and a bit more. Gonna be a good time of rest and recharging.

Looking forward to coming back soon already. I wonder why.

New Year Eve

2005-12-31T12:43:00.000+08:00

Its New Year's Eve but I can hardly muster any excitement anymore. It has been a bittersweet december to the most extreme of the phrase.
I had thought I was all packed and ready for the journey.
I thought I was ready.
I thought wrong.
I had no plans no preparation...
Like a child
I only knew I wanted to go

In the end, as it turned out... even the destination was not ready.

Well, in the end it's all ok.
Its still going to be a gd 2006.
I just know it.
Cheers and thanks for all the forgiveness from the people I have let down.

2005-11-09T21:48:00.000+08:00

I told you my answer, I left u my dreams on your answering machine
All the mistakes one life can take. So far away.
This is how u remind me of what I really am
Now that we are here (so far away) and I feel that I can face the day

Weeping Willow, the pills under your pillow
Weeping willow, the gun under my pillow

How the hell did we end up like this? Why werent we able to see the signs that we missed?
All he wants is just that something to hold onto, thats all he needs,
If I could be like that I'll do anything...

All your dreams are made when you're chained to the mirror and the razor blade,
today's the day that all the world will see... its another sunny sunday afternoon
I've been walking to the sound of my favourite tune..
Tomorrow never knows what it doesnt know too soon
And as he faced the Sun, he cast no shadow

Beetlebum! Look at what you've done
Like a cat in a bag waiting to drown, this time I'm coming down?
Vindicated. I am selfish I am wrong.
I want to hold you high and steal your pain

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
How on earth did I get so jaded?Life's mystery seems so faded?
So tired I cant even sleep
One more promise I cant keep

Scars are souvenirs you never lose the past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there? Did you get to be a star?
Did it make you sad to learn that life is more than who we are

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
cause I will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away. I'll find myself today

Swallowed sorrowed
I’m with everyone and yet not
I’m with everyone and yet not
I’m with everyone and yet
Just wanted to be myself
Hey you said that you would love to try some
Hey you said you would love to die some
In the middle of a world on a fishhook
You’re the wave You’re the wave You’re the wave

I know Somebody and they cry for you
They lie awake and they dream of you
They say you cant fight the tears that aint coming or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies and you bleed just to know you're alive
Always seems to me
You only see what people want you to see

Happiness More or less It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Happiness Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing

So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away,
but don't look back in anger I heard you say?

So what do you say You can't give me the dreams that are mine anyway
You're half the world away
Half the world away
I've been lost, I've been found but I don't feel down.

Need a little time to wake up! Whats the story morning glory?

Hey wait! Great Smile! Sensitive to fate, not denial
but Hey, look who's on trial?
It took a life span with no cellmate
the long way back
Sandy! why can't we look the other way?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

(Random scatterings of lyrics of my fave few songs... at least ten of them)

2005-10-25T01:41:00.000+08:00

"But everything exposed by the light becomes visible," -Eph 5:13

I had been cruel and insensitive and Im sorry

2005-09-13T00:12:00.000+08:00

I am a piece of @#$% and I admit Im a idiot. Im also very sorry.

2005-09-06T01:05:00.000+08:00

The Heart of the Matter

I got the call today, I didn�t wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old, true friend of ours was talkin� on the phone
She said you�d found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love�s open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?
I�m learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I�m learning again
I�ve been tryin� to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it�s about forgiveness
Forgiveness Even if, even if you don�t love me anymore
These times are so uncertain
There�s a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They�re the very things - we kill I guess
Pride and competition
Cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us
You know it doesn�t keep me warm
I�m learning to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
And the more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I�d figured out
I have to learn again
I�ve been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it�s about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don�t love me anymore
There are people in your life who�ve come and gone
They let you down you know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby; life goes on
You keep carryin� that anger; it�ll eat you up inside, baby
I�ve been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thought seem to scatter
But I think it�s about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don�t love me
I�ve been tryin� to get down
To the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I�m thinkin� about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don�t love me
Forgiveness
Forgiveness - baby
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, you don�t love me anymore

Room Full of Blues is just an awesome place

2005-09-04T15:50:00.000+08:00

Went to this live music Pub on Prinsep street called" Room Full of Blues". It was just an awesome experience. It's basically a small cozy pub with this great singer/guitarist by the name of Gilbert dishing out live music. What really rocked us was the spontaneity of the place. People from the audience were just invited to go onstage to sing while the guitarist Gilbert played. It happened to be the birthday of one of the waitress there and people in the pub (regular customers I assumed) went onstage to sing dedications to her. Wow, what an incredible community they have I just thought.

From our group, Dominque even went onstage to sing "More than Words". He totally enjoyed the experience. From then on the rest of the evening was filled with songs ranging from the eagles to Art Garfunkel to Oasis. The best song of the night I felt was the last song. He did a song called "Heart of the Matter" by Don Henley. He invited 2 of his friends up on stage and suddenly there were drums and electric guitar accompanying his classical guitar. It was a a sincere and heartfelt rendition of a song about forgiveness.

I have posted the song on my blog. Do be patient and wait for it to load:)

This Time - The Verve

2005-08-17T23:50:00.000+08:00

Lookin' back on my life.
You know that all I see Are things I could have changed
I should have done
Where did the good times go? Good times so hard to hold
This time, this time This time I'm gonna find
Lookin' back on my life You know that all I see Are things I could have changed
I could have done No time for sad lament A wasted life is bitter spent
So rise into the light In or out of time Gonna rise straight through the light
In or out of time Woke up one other day The pain won't go away
I am growing In peculiar ways Into a light I pass Another dream, another trance
This time, this time This time I'm gonna rise into the light In or out of time
Gonna find my way in life In or out of sight I'm still seeing things in black and white
Gonna rise straight into the light In or out of sight I'm gonna see the light I'm gonna see the light I'm gonna see the light' Cause I know there is time There is time There is time There is time There is time There is time There is time There is time This time, this timeThis time, this time This time, this time This time, this time

Mid-life crisis at 22!

2005-08-17T21:53:00.000+08:00

Today's tuition was postphoned and so I came home rather early today frm school. Reached home then decided to ask an old TPJC pal Kenneth out for coffee at white sands. Turned out life wasnt exactly breezing at NUS for him.

The bidding system in NUS has turned out to be a major source of frustration to him as he has not managed to get all the units he had wanted. Turns out as a result he may take 4 yrs instead of 3 to complete his course. Can see he really couldnt wait to get out to work. Then suddenly just like that the mood changed as we both contemplated life after graduation frm our respective course.... Seeing today's competitive society, we considered just how much our degree will actually help us get a gd job in the future. The truth is that today the market is full of degree holders and thus what is it that will help us get an edge over others...
The answer we concluded was most probably the kind of degree u get.... Whether it was a normal degree or an honours degree... Honours...gulp... When school started it seemed such an easy target but truth is the UOL degree has turned out to be nothing like a walk in the park as I envisioned. Its a degree that demands time and effort to excel.

Must admit I am not exactly optimistic bout last yr's exams. I know I could have done better especially in preparing for the exams a bit earlier than starting during the mock exam period... What exactly was I thinking last year? What can be more important than the degree u will be holding for the rest of your life? Why didnt I show better effort? Seriously life in singapore is tough if u want to make it, me and kenneth suddenly wished we were back in army suddenly haha. Although no freedom but no stress too haha

The conversation then turned to how the others in the "Orc" gang are doing... Everyone working so hard in school. The "Orcs" certainly have all grown up and matured! Kenneth even thinking of starting a study group liao, wow this week starting... I think I should start now while it is still only 1 topic.. get the study engine going...

Same old kenneth same old qixiong but suddenly we looked at each other and think realised how diff our priorities are now... the rat race is into our system.... oh well... Life's like that and thats the way it is.

I see this year as a delicate exercise in time management with studies,work,church and keeping myself sane.... By His grace I shall do it. This time.

School starts!

2005-08-04T13:55:00.000+08:00

Cant believe it, the holidays are drawing to a close... and school has started. Goodness, time really flies during the holidays. Had my first lesson yesterday, International relations yesterday.
Turns out, it is probably the most unpopular foundation module for UOL students. There's only 1 slot for the entire week. Had wanted to take Soci but was told that IR is better, "cannot fail one..." So finally went back to school with Jianda and Christina who also subscribe to the same "take the wont fail subject" mentality.

Turned out to be not that bad at all, Jianda, Chris and me had actually wanted to leave a bit earlier as we all had tution in the evening but in the end we didnt. Turned out to be quite engaging as the lecturer talked on a variety of topics, the Gulf war, North Korea nuclear impasse, Taiwan and China conflict. He also mentioned something like," In IR, there is no right or wrong answers, its how strong u present your arguments", Cant believe it, I can use my old General Paper talk nonsense style honed from my JC days to answer questions from now on. hehe

After Lecture we headed to our respective tuition. Today was my first leson with the student, a pri 4 kid. To say I was severly tested would be putting it mildly.... What was supposed to be a one and half hr session turned in to a 2 and half hrs of hell. The kid simply refused to pay attention and almost nothing was accomplished. Had to resort to disgusting tactics like "I buy u gift if u just please finish this question pls.." Had to stoop so low. Cannot cannot, I not running charity here, next lesson i shall be more bochup and just leave when time is up.

Untitled

2005-07-26T00:47:00.000+08:00

Amazing how when u let someone listen out some things that u've been wanting to say, u can finally understand what exactly u are feeling and why.
Thanks for listening.. and all your advice is right.
At work met this sales shop assistant, a malaysian christian working in singapore who's ambition in life is to ultimately go back to her hometown and teach the story of Christ. Related the story to me while folding Polo tshirts together... Right there on the sales floor she told me of her revelation by God. What is faith? That is trusting and not doubting, even if she is in full time sales job that allows her to go service only once a month and hardly time for care groups.

Do I have that strong a faith?

Black

2005-07-20T11:05:00.000+08:00

Black goes with anything as long as the anything is black.

Stuck

2005-07-17T17:57:00.000+08:00

Here I am back to where I started. Back to the place I thought I had left behind. I thought I will never go back again. Maybe as much I dont wish to admit this is where I am most accustomed to, my old familar scab.... I was not even aware I was going back to this old familar place till I reached here. Like stuck in a slow motion replay I cant get out of, I see myself slowly walking back to my old familar spot.

Back here to where I started. Back to where I had thought I never want to go again. But here I am, Here.

Semi-recap of my life by my friend, Lai Tiek

2005-07-15T12:03:00.000+08:00

http://www.livejournal.com/users/tieky/
Look for the entry with my name, haha

Wow, This is as honest description of my life as u can find from any of my friends.
Thanks Tiek.

2005-07-15T03:00:00.000+08:00

This is the story of a rose. Beautiful and vulnerable. Perfectly harmless if u just explore it on the outside and admire its exterior beauty. Running your fingers around it, u explore this beautiful object more, and as u reach from the petals down to the stem... u realise that the rose is not as vulnerable as u think it is.. blood runs from yur finger as u extricate your fingers from the thorns... oh spiteful rose!

The Church camp (8-12 June)

2005-07-13T23:41:00.000+08:00

The Church camp was held at the Eden garden hotel in Johor bahru. Originally scheduled to start on the 9th, we went into JB on the 8th night to beat the morning traffic jam. The guys and gals frm our district went to seperate hotels to stay for the night. Supper,Watched Naruto movie on Dom's laptop and slept.

The next 4 days would be such an incredible experience, learnt so much really. Perhaps it would be extreme to say that the experience redefined my life, but I really felt so impacted by the whole camp. I realised from the camp that I had no vision and had a narrow minded view of circumstances in my life. I think that I still have no vision, but I have learnt to appreciate looking at things from a larger perspective now.

Shared a bed with Darren for the whole camp, haha had such fun with him during the camp. It wouldn't have been the same without him. Darren is rellie one of a kind. Honest in a brutal but funny kind of way. In a way I find that refreshing, rather than pple who do 'wordplay' but ultimately dont mean what they say.

Survived on barely 3-4 plus hrs every night. This was mainly due to late night bridge sessions after the official sleeping hours. Realised that after a certain timing at night, my brain stops to function. I know it's dead when I win bridge games without knowing who my partner is...

I attended a workshop during the camp on "Emotions", in my group, only Joy and me chose that particular workshop. It dealt mainly on how to control negative emotions. I realise that i dont really deal with negative emotions. I simmer in them and bring them around with me and try to push it all under the carpet. Im uncomfortable with them at the best of times and drown in them at the worst of times... Ever felt ashamed of feeling a certain way before and then try to deceive yourself that you dont feel that way.. yar I really got to cut that out. Anyway, the workshop was somewhat effective in guiding us on how to deal with these negative emotions.

The last evening in the Eden garden we had a formal commnunion dinner, had lots of fun taking photos with the dressed up people as can be seen in the photos below, it was followed by performances by the different groups. Christina performed in the Uni group! She sang and acted on stage, wow. All in all, it was a great evening and we returned to our hotel room to recap what each of us learnt during the camp... followed by.. u guess it more bridge!

Back to Singapore the next day where all of us came back spritually recharged! This was the camp in brief!

2005-07-13T23:33:00.000+08:00

After the siong 4 days of camp! see everyone's tired faces! But our spirits are high!

2005-07-13T23:32:00.000+08:00

Me and Carrie in her classic pose again!

2005-07-13T23:29:00.000+08:00

Me and my temp contract sleep mate during the camp. Yes, we shared the same bed for 4 nights! (Notice his tired face, yes we are very passionate in bed)

2005-07-13T23:26:00.000+08:00

Positively beaming! me and xiao shan vying for colgate contract!

2005-07-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

Me and Jason

2005-07-13T23:24:00.000+08:00

Me and Joy

2005-07-13T23:23:00.000+08:00

Small mountain, big mountain and crispy powder!

2005-07-13T23:22:00.000+08:00

Some gals of biznet. Someone give Weishan a double espresso quick!

2005-07-13T23:20:00.000+08:00

2 waitress vying for the foto space ( carrie striking up her classic pose). Look at where u are cutting, not the camera!

2005-07-13T23:16:00.000+08:00

We all live in a psychedelic world

2005-07-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

Im blind and oblivious to the world but Im happy!

2005-07-13T23:13:00.000+08:00

Man in pink hat with his 2 monkeys

2005-07-13T23:12:00.000+08:00

Iguana about to be molested by 2 monsters!

2005-07-13T23:10:00.000+08:00

Lunch on first day. Thats me, in the mid!

2005-07-13T23:06:00.000+08:00

At Kranji mrt before heading for the church camp in JB! Fresh and ready befor the coming adventures of the next couple of month aka lamb b4 the slaughter! or maybe in this case, pig

Time to revive the Great escape!

2005-07-13T22:21:00.000+08:00

Wow, its 3 months since I last blogged. Its been a rather hectic and busy past couple of months since the exams ended in may. Had a couple of camps, participated in a matriculation event for freshmen, became OGl for SIM RMIT orientation,worked, helped out as a team for a fundraiser event and turned 22. This holiday has been tiring and yet fulfilling so far. Learnt several important lessons about working in a team and that I am full of flaws as a person still. Well, I think the only way to properly have an account of the past couple of months is to break up what has been happening into the diff major events. Yay, yay here we go blogging mad!

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?

2005-04-27T01:04:00.000+08:00

Or what the wind says when she cries?

9 to 10 day!

2005-04-20T00:46:00.000+08:00

phew... never been so tired for a long while lessons from 9 in morning to 10 at night... madness!!
Tired. Tired. Tired. Met a Hope brother Jinghe on train home and ate supper with him and Jianda. Actually found Amos to be not bad... amusing fella.... Not as bad as I thought he would be... Almost enjoyed it the Econs lecture...

Signing off with this song by You Hong Ming "Xun Ni".....

2005-04-18T01:49:00.000+08:00

A nice contemplative song...

喝醉了以后还能想些什么是纯纯的爱是飘飘的愁不要说你我
都无法挣脱只要闭着眼睛妳就会感动将一个天空划上一道彩虹
有绿绿的树和暖暖的风给我一杯酒我轻轻的说只要忘记曾经妳
就能自由是谁将我的梦敲破太阳下的河水它不停留
有一个美丽的新世界它在远方等我那里有天真的孩子还有姑娘的酒窝
有一个美丽的新世界叫我慢慢的走海浪它总是一波波不要停歇不回头

2005-04-14T22:41:00.000+08:00

After The baptism!

2005-04-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

At Mac

2005-04-14T22:39:00.001+08:00

Ray,Me and Darryl

2005-04-14T22:39:00.000+08:00

Dom,Me and Jason

2005-04-14T22:38:00.000+08:00

The 2 Water Baptisees...

2005-04-14T22:37:00.000+08:00

Before The plunge....

2005-04-14T22:36:00.000+08:00

Me in water!

Great day to remember

2005-04-11T00:10:00.000+08:00

Today was a great day to remember. I must admit I at first looked upon water baptism as just an act of obedience to God but at the end of the day I finally understood its significance to my personal growth. It was really wonderful to see people from different stages of my life present at this baptism. Raymond whom I've known since Primary school days in St. Hilda's, Timothy my classmate in Sec 1/2, Darryl Sec 3/4 and whom both chose the same JC as me too ,TPJC. Jasmine and Cherise from SIM and of course all the wonderful brothers and sisters from Hope.

Was really moved when after the baptism during the prayer session, Jason, Christina, Darryl and Wenjiang all prophesised similar verses from the bible. All of the verses had one common theme, to let go of the past and approach the present with victory. My biggest flaw as a person is perhaps that I tend to find it hard to let go of certain regrets and disappointments. All the verses spoken went right piercing through to my heart.

I am deeply encouraged by everyone's desire to see me rise above all the circumstances in my life past and present. I will continue to be in awe always by Jason's incredible dedication to this
CG.

Whats with a name? Alot if it can inspire one to greater heights.... All talk is futile and meaningless if not backed by actions... So how is it going to be Paul? How are u going to respond to today?

Of heavy rain and humming bananas....

2005-04-04T19:58:00.000+08:00

This is a week of reflection for me. Time to take into account how I've been doing so far as a believer. Perhaps it is easy to blame certain circumstances happening in my life but I would not run away from the fact that perhaps I have not been as consistent as I would like to be in changing certain aspects of my character as I had seeked to do when I first accepted his grace. Certain traits die hard I guess.... worse still is when u let a feeling of apathy take over u and do what is wrong without a second thought. Time and time again I disappoint myself without realising it till much later. But it is always important to not let frustration take over and just resign to your actions. This struggle is something that I have learnt to accept and appreciate now. By fighting we can sometimes learn the root of why we do certain things and try to resolve the problem at the root..

This Sunday I hope to approach with a joyful and accepting heart unlike the first time round where I was too consumed with my finite human view on forgiveness. Once again the patience and acceptance of everyone has been extremely important to me. Through everyone around me do I truly see his work on earth.

Lost the focus abit lately but glad that I can accept it, learn and move on.

Thoughts on yesterday's easter performance

2005-03-27T12:44:00.000+08:00

After reading Joy's lengthy dissection on yesterday's Easter Service performance, I am compelled to suddenly write a piece of my own...
First off it was a new experience for me to be bringing friends to a church service for the first time. For me it 'hammered' into my brain again the change I decided to do with my life since I accepted Christ last year. It was almost Surreal..."Yes, Qixiong YOU ARE BRINGING YOUR FRIENDS TO CHURCH" The most important word of the above line is the word "Qixiong". Yes, Qi Xiong... Qi xiong is bringing his friends to church. The same old Qi xiong who took sick joy in antagonizing his Christian friends in the past with his well thought out arguments on why there cannot possibly be a God. The same Qi xiong who laughed at people having so much faith on something they cannot possibly see... The same Qx who judged other people with arrogance without first looking to himself... I'm sure everyone of u guys have a friend in the past who was something like me.. the guy who no matter how hard u tried to share ,your faith, would not only refuse to listen but return you back nasty comments on what a waste of time faith is. I was that friend and maybe a bit worse...

A lot of my friends to now still greet the news that I am now a Christian with shock and disbelief, some react ok some react not that ok to the point of bringing me down sometimes... Just yesterday while having dinner at S11, Benjamin whom I brought to the service, was on the phone with another one of our old sec school fren, Alvin, when he mentioned to Alvin that he actually just went to my church service. Benjamin suddenly handed me the phone saying Alvin wanted to talk to me.. I was greeted with... "What?!! Qixiong u are a christian?!! when? Hur? You?!". His tone of voice was one that people use to describe if they had just discovered how the moon is actually made of blue cheese I guess you all can get the point I trying to share here...

Anyway back to the service, it was a thought provoking experience, the play by the drama team tried to show us that many of the things people do are actually because they are looking for an escape. People do things sometimes to mask from other people that they are suffering inside...sometimes I guess they even succeed in bluffing themselves. The play covered the unhappy and uncontented people of society but Pastor Jeff later on went on to talk about how when u have seemingly everything u can still be more than u are. It was real gd how then everything was brought together in the end with one message, give thanks no matter where you stand now and have hope for more, be it that u are poor,rich,busy,bored etc... always must have hope that he can give more.

After the service, at the jazz bar at intercontinental hotel I was happy to see kenneth learning more from darren about SMU, although some of the things he was teaching about exploiting the SMU system is a bit unethical haha. I hope Ken gets to where he wants to go after taking an extended break from school after NTU comp engineering... what am I talking about? It was super long break!! goodness... haha

Back to concentrate on studying at least try... Now that I have hopefully put this 'horrifying event' past me :)

2005-03-26T00:12:00.000+08:00

The bluest sky is crystal clear and infinitely High..

Ever had that Sinking feeling?

2005-03-23T01:58:00.000+08:00

gdness.. gdness... arrgghh... head pain ... head very pain... why... why... Why muz like that?

Goodness.. this must be a joke...

2005-03-22T01:52:00.000+08:00

This kind of thing can happen at this point in time is almost unreal.. almost like a joke.. after so long then occur this kind of thing. Goodness... Sometimes some things are just beyond our control and we just got to have faith that all will be well in the end. This is my first real test of faith I guess... oh well... Got to get this thing solved and fast! time runnin out... gdness gdness..

Macy day parade

2005-03-16T23:27:00.000+08:00

Its funny how when u look at something from a fresh perspective.. they can seem different.. even a simple pop song...

Macy's Day Parade

When I was a kid I thoughtI wanted all the things that I haven't got Oh but I learned the hardest way.
Then I realized what it took To tell the difference between thieves and crooks.
A lesson learned and me and you. Give me something that I need Satisfaction guaranteed.
Cause I'm thinking about a brand new hope The one I've never known
'Cause now I know it's all that I wanted
What's the consolation prize economy sized dreams of hope
Give me something that I need Satisfaction guaranteed
'Cause I'm thinking about a brand new hope The one I've never known And where it goes
And I'm thinking about the only road The one I've never known and where it goes
And I'm thinking about a brand new hope The one I've never known 'Cause now I know it's all that I wanted

This Blog is still alive!!

2005-03-16T22:31:00.000+08:00

Finally decided to write on my blog. Its been 2 months since the last entry I think. Wow. Ok, part of the long reason for the long back between this entry and last has been the Mock exams at SIM. Well, what can I say about the mock? I now know the full extent of what I do not know about Accounting? haha. Well, that is over and now I have the real thing to worry about coming up in May.

After the mock exams I have taken some time to relax, catching up with old friends and enjoying the times of fellowship with the amazing Biznet! I cannot say enougn how grateful I have been towards the guidance I have received. My questions and misconceptions have been answered by these guys with patience and understanding. My ankle is almost strong enough to run any day now... Maybe I shall try tomorrow(hmm... should I?)

Talking about catching up with old friends... I met an old secondary school friend, Lai Tiek on Sunday. This friend of mine is is NTU Engineering first year and he recently told me about his decsion to apply for the new NTU school of Art, Design & Media. I have always known this friend of mine to be more of an artistic guy and was surprised at him entering Engineering in the first place.
I supported his decsion to try for a place in the new course. One of the application requirements was that he had to submit a ten minute video about why he deserved a place. That was the purpose of me meeting him, to help him brainstorm some creative ideas for the video. I went to look for him after going to support another friend, Weihong, at the 'Cheerobics 2005' organised by NTU and held at Suntec. My friend was the chief programmer and was happy to see him organising such a large scale event, my my what a change since army haha when he seemed so disorganised. Any way this other friend will need another entry to fully discuss about haha.

Back to my other friend Lai Tiek and the video which can change his life! (with my help of coz!) I went to find him at Far east, his mum opens a shop there called Christine's Collections (people, pls take a look if u all happen to go shoppin there! thks) and he helps her run the shop on sundays. Business was slow and so we sat in the shop to discuss about the video. Came up with some real radical ideas esp from him.. some of which if he does put on tape may very well land him in trouble with the PAP if u all can get what I mean... hehe He does have a special talent for drawing caricature of our Mentor Minister....

The video discussion got us bored out quite fast and soon we were talking about other stuff. The topic of faith and why my friend backslided soon came out... I didnt really pressed but just sought to find out more of his reasons for losing faith. What followed after that darkened my mood and saddened me... In front of me, in my friend, I was seeing myself of old... The carefully thought-out arguments why there is no God... why there are so many 'evidence' that Jesus may be false.. all these things my friend was saying to me... I heard myself. I thought back of the days when my friend was a Christian and I was not and the anti-God stuff I said to him back then.. the roles have been reversed now... I could just look at my friend in silence.. I just said as much I could to him with my limited knowledge and hoped he could see I was not joking.

Well, there will always be issues from our past that will come back to haunt us... But then again that is what this life is about. Learning from past mistakes. Signing off and hope the next blog entry would not be too long off...

Road ahead

2005-01-25T01:29:00.000+08:00

Knowing where u want to go is a simple thing by itself but it is keepin on the road that is hard.
At the beginning the road always seems straight but too often walking upon the path we find ourselves veering off the straight path and entering mini detours where we end up wandering round in circles. Some people realise they are on the wrong path immediately and turn back onto their original path immediately. Then there are some who spend too long off their original road, as the detours bring them to one different exit after another till they themselves forget what was their original path. As they wander further and further away from their original intended path, it becomes harder and harder to get back. But there seems to be no way to turn back now therefore they just keep walking further and further away.One day no matter how long, they will remember "Yes..I did walk another road once.. It was a totally different path from the road I take now." Then they will remember the purity of purpose they had when they walked that original walk and the happiness it brought them to be walking that road. Then they will also inevitably remember that one moment of weakness, that one instance of human shortcoming that led them to turn away from the original road and pursue the other easier path.
It may be that they will never be able to go back to where they wanted to go in the beginning but in the end if they can stop themselves regretting the path they have taken and just focus on the road ahead a new path can be forged ahead. For as long as it is the road that u have chosen for yourself it cannot be the wrong path.

-What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Ralph Waldo Emerson American Poet

Birthday Girl!

2005-01-16T17:58:00.000+08:00

This is the story of a girl who brings joy and happiness to those around her by her positive and courageous approach to life. Things may not always be smooth sailing in this life but then again that should not stop us from enjoying the journey nonetheless. I never knew I could learn bravery and strength from a girl but her attitude towards life has changed this eternal cynic's approach on his own problems somewhat. Naturally charismatic u never fail to bring a spark to any occasion lighting up the atmosphere and putting a smile on everyone's face. Painfully honest, u speak the truth and tell what u think regardless of how harsh sometimes the truth can be.

U are a special person, just remember what everyone had to say about u today. Just continue to have faith and belief in yourself. U will get to where u want to in this life, I just know it, in the end it will all fit in place and u can look back at this trying times and smile. It has to happen because u have been working so very hard right? :)

Happy birthday and may all your wishes come true.

2005-01-13T02:13:00.000+08:00

This is the next century
Where the Universal's free
You can find it anywhere
Yes, the future's been sold
Every night we're gone
And to karaoke songs
How we like to sing along
'Though the words are wrong

It really, really, really could happen
Yes, it really, really, really could happen
When the days they seem to fall through you
Well, just let them go

No-one here is alone
Satellite's in every home
Yes, the Universal's here
Here for everyone
Every paper that you read
Says tomorrow's your lucky day
Well, here's your lucky day

It really, really, really could happen
Yes, it really, really, really could happen
If the days they seem to fall through you
Well, just let them go

So many birthdays

2005-01-13T01:12:00.000+08:00

Jan and february very siong... so many pple birthday. Today went with Wes to buy finish both presents for both upcoming birthdays. Got home got started on my 'special' project. Wow, a few mins into my project I already feel like giving up... My sister who helped me get started with the materials laughed at how slow I was progressing... Well, I have a dateline to meet for the project and I dont really have much time left so no time to back out now since I've bought everything.
Maybe this project will teach me patience and how to concentrate better....

I said that I am making something and I intend to fulfill what I said.

OMG its Thursday... 2 days of sian work... oh well...

A few sparks in an otherwise boring work day

2005-01-07T01:28:00.000+08:00

Was working at Century Square Tampines today when saw a family walk past. Parents and 2 little boys. Little boy A sees a rolled up carpet on the floor and jumps on it like its the most fun thing in the world to do. Only thing is carpet is real dirty... Dad sees little boy A grabs him violently by the arm and scolds him! The boy pauses... i thought pls dun cry in front of me.....
Instead the boy bursts out laughing! His brother seeing him laugh joins in... It wasnt just any ordinary laughter... it was an all out no holds barred laugh! Goodness, I was confused. Seeing the Dad, he was confused too.... Finally both Mum and Dad juz smiled at each other grabbed the kids and walked off..
Wow, that was just amazing I thought to myself!

The carpetting is done for my counter at Metro.. now I can at least stone on a nice carpetted flooring....

Rabbits!

2005-01-05T23:16:00.000+08:00

On my way back home today I was amazed to see a black furry thing scamper in front of me suddenly... It was a brown rabbit! Wait a min... Rabbits dont go running around on public paths especially when the path is next to a road... Worse still it was a road just outside Tampines Interchange, with buses constantly moving in and out. I pictured the rabbit being crushed underneath a double-decker bus... Not a pretty picture... Oops rabbit is moving! I followed it... it scampered here and then to settled down next to... another rabbit! Heck I have heard of stray cats and stray dogs....but stray rabbits... hmm.. No one was around. Are the rabbits abandoned? They have to be! No one is around and they are free to run anywhere they wish. I looked at the rabbits and called my sis, "Do u want rabbits?" Dad didnt approve.... Called Jerlene as she lived the nearest," Do u want rabbits?" No cage but she help me call where I can get pple to save the rabbits. I scanned surroundings for a cardboard box, saw only a security guard from the building across the road looking at me with a amused look. "Do u have a cardboard box where I can like put the 2 rabbits over there?" The guard smiled and said," The rabbits have a owner." "What!But they are like lying in the mud next to a road across from a bus interchange! They can get killed" The guard just calmly said " They have owner" Oh well... strange pet owners in Singapore... Put their pets next to bus interchange with no cage or chain or anything... And their lying in the mud for goodness after all the rain thats been going on...
Anyway feel so paiseh when call Jerlene no need to get help liaoz.... haha

What a strange incident to round off a otherwise good day... Gd movie Gd studying Gd company. Contented.

Year 2004 reflections

2005-01-02T22:11:00.000+08:00

Well, here I am halfway past 21! Cant believe the years are just dropping by like the rain.... Cant say 2004 has been an eventful year as half of it was spent in servitude to the SAF? haha, anyway the later part of the year had been quite cool. Have to say I enrolled into SIM half heartedly as I was expecting much from a private university. But I have to say I have been quite impressed with the school infrastucture and the lectures(well as least most...) so far. If anything lacking it has probably been from on my side, not really been studying hard. Well, it is a new year and hopefully can attack my study with fresh vigour! In the time at SIM I have also made some real interesting friends. Some of these friends have helped me in my growth as a person. Its true that we never stop learning... even at 21 I am sometimes still amazed at how immature my thinking can be at times. (Well, aint nothing gonna break my stride, aint nothing gonna slow me down, I have got to keep on moving!)

The greatest challenge for 2005 and my new year resolution? To be hungrier!
I also hope to see things in a new light, to see both the good and bad in people and events and make the choice to bring out the good.

2004-12-29T00:43:00.000+08:00

This is 1 scary Dog!

African and Chinese mixed blood?

2004-12-18T21:21:00.000+08:00

Went to Queensway shopping centre to accompany my friend to buy some boots for winter. He's off to China, (Han bin is it?) next week. Apparently its sub zero degrees over there now... Wow. So envious of him can go holiday now. I have known this friend since secondary school, and have been good pals through the days when he first started smoking and his numerous brushes with the school authorities. I thought I knew all there ever was about him till I found out only recently that his parents are divorced. He told me only recently about a few weeks back and I was a bit taken aback that it wasnt something that happened recently, in fact it has been 2 yrs since his parents divorced. How could it have taken me so long to realise something was wrong?
Recalling back there was this period in the army when he seemed to be a bit down and I dismissed it as just probably army stress. Well, luckily my friend has gotten over it and just accepts whatever his parents wish to do. "Let them do as they please lar, Dont care anymore" according to him. Anyway he's goin on this holiday with his mother and her African Boyfriend!
Goodness... Was jokin with him the whole time that he might have a real nigger brother if his mum marries this boyfriend. I've personally never seen Chinese and African mixed blood before. Woah.. Anyway its probably gd for the mum to marry again... only still early 40s.
Well, there he goes off to his holiday!

2004-12-16T00:57:00.000+08:00

Its Good to Be Free

Head like a rock spinning round and round
I found it in a hole sitting upside down
You point the finger at me but I don't believe
Paint me a wish on a velvet sky
You demand the answers but I don't know why in my mind
There is no time

But the little things they make me so happy
All I want to do is live by the sea
Little things they make me so happy
But it's good it's good it's good to be free

So what would you say if I said to you
It's not in what you say it's in what you do
You point the finger at me but I don't believe
Bring it on home to where we found
My head like a rock sitting upside down
In my mind there is no time

But the little things they make me so happy
All I want to do is live by the sea
Little things they make me so happy
But it's good it's good it's good to be free

Tired Day at work

2004-12-12T01:49:00.000+08:00

The story will have to wait... too lazy to edit the mass of words I wrote on paper. Its been a tiring day. Should not have taken up this afternoon shift at Metro paragorn from Minjie. Crazy crowd! The whole place is flooded with christmas shoppers because of the storewide 20 % discount. I can conclude one thing from today... Singaporeans are loaded! See everyone buying christmas gifts like its all free. Even our Tempur also did 10 thousand plus worth of sales today! Craziness.... legs are super tired frm basketball in morning and standing in Metro frm 330-11pm.

A friend's advice may be hurting and cruel at the moment of speaking but real friends always tell whats best for u. It may take a while to register but in the end its all for the best. Thanks. I have considered what u said for the past few days and know what to do now.

Flight of the Phoenix part 1

2004-12-09T22:38:00.000+08:00

This is the result of ultimate boredom whilst at work today. Must be the lack of sleep. Wrote this while in a semi-conscious state. Kept quoting wrong price to customer some more today.

Long ago, in the furthest east of the known world, there stood the forest of a thousand wonders. In this forest lived many wonderful creatures and all manners of dangerous beasts. The most amazing of all these creatures was the one called the Phoenix. The Phoenix was a giant bird with feathers that were ablaze with flames at all times. This was a incredibly beautiful and yet dangerous creature. The forest of a thousand wonders was frequently traveled by humans seeking the shortest route to a city that was in close proximity to it. One day a human called K entered the forest. K was making his way to the neighboring city just like so many other humans. In the forest K encountered the Phoenix. At first K was filled with fear as he had never seen anything like it before. He froze at the amazing spectacle of the phoenix hunting fish in the river. As the feathers of the phoenix were of fire, great amounts of steam filled the air as the phoenix hunted for fish. Controlling his fear, K approached nearer. As he came closer he noticed that the water was actually hurting the Phoenix, as he noticed that with every dip into the water the Phoenix cringed in pain. Staring at the pile of fishes stacked at the side of the river, K picked up the courage to speak. “Why do u not consume the fishes as u catch them?”
“They are not for me”, The Phoenix replied. Walking closer, K proceeded to ask the Phoenix several questions as his curiosity to understand this wonderful creature grew.
They talked till it was late and K had to leave for the city to seek shelter. K reached the city and spent the night recollecting his conversations with the Phoenix. To be cont….

Too tired... need to sleep cont tomorrow

Blade Trinity

2004-12-09T01:12:00.000+08:00

Came school with Cherise today to learn that her friend had injured her arm quite badly while doing of all things cheerleading in NUS and she was going to visit her after school.Reached School today to find out that Wesley had fallen Ill. Sat through POB lecture alone coz Christina also didnt come school as she wanted to stay home to study in morning. Oh well, turned out not bad coz was able to focus more as now I knew I had to explain to Wes the lecture. Had lunch with MJ Yanran and MX. Went to town then to catch Blade Trinity with MJ, Christina, RX and Ken.

After watching Alexander the previous day, this movie could not have been any different. Plotless and mindless. Just watching Blade (vampire-killing,attitude-packed, half-vampiric, angry black man) kill a whole load of vampires. Bang bang Bang! Slash Slash Slash! add in some incredibly cliqued dialogue and viola! a movie is born. Anyway, the movie at least had some incredibly stylistic fight scenes to redeem itself.

Had dinner at Ramen-ten where I almost killed myself trying to finish a bowl of chilli masquerading as a bowl of ramen.... pure evil. My throat!

On train ride back, Christina is somehow totally amazed by ken's accounting of this so called 'gay' in his camp when he was still in army. Anyway it was rather bad because this supposed 'gay' was actually from my JC class. Oh well, its a cruel world. We laugh and ridicule what we do not understand.

Tomorrow Work. Sianz. Oh well, Pillow selling here I come!

2004-12-08T01:39:00.000+08:00

Alexander

The greatness of Alexander

2004-12-08T01:10:00.000+08:00

Caught 'Alexander' today at Lido, a movie based loosely on written historical accounts of the life of Alexander The Great, King of Macedonia (356 - 323 B.c) , one of the greatest conqueror the world had ever known. Went in with trepidation because I had heard so much bad reviews about the show. Came out of the cinema quite pleased at myself for having caught it. Overall, the movie was a good attempt by the Director, Oliver Stone, to help the audience understand what could possibly make a mere mortal dream of the impossible and to embark on a lifelong quest to conquer and unite the entire known world. The movie brings the audience on a journey... a journey into the often lonely and always paranoid soul of the great conqueror. The movie depicts him not only as a true leader among men capable of rousing his men to achieve great feats in battle but also as a mere mortal culpable of submitting to the most base of human emotions, lust, jealousy, pride etc.... The role of Alexander was given to Collin Farrel. Thought he did quite well at the role, as well as could be expected of anyone asked to act out a King more regarded as a living God in his time than as a man.

What made people regard Alexander as the greatest? For a short brief see here. http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/historic_figures/alexander_the_great.shtml

The truly great are often so different from the rest of us that they often alienate the people around them. Alexander saw something that the rest of the rulers in his time could not comprehend. He sought above all else, immortality. This was the first true visionary of his time, he sought the very impossible, to unite the entire known world. This mad vision succeeded to varying success during Alexander's reign throughout his lands, but ultimately collapsed with his death. Though it can be said that his plan to unite the known world failed with his death, but his 'failure' can be said to dwarf most other successes.

Please do catch the movie. Ignore all the bad reviews. It is not an action movie like Troy but do treat it as a documentary on the life of one of history's greatest.

First Post on the Escape!

2004-12-06T01:06:00.000+08:00

Well, here's my new blog. Decided to start a totally new one because the previous one was totally neglected and not updated. Well, hope this one doesnt end up the same fate.
In the past we had diairies and now we have blogs. Oh well, I come to think of blogging as the ultimate proof of the human desire to express oneself to the rest of the world. Think Hitler, Stalin and Mao Zedong, I always do believe that these guys just wanted to express themselves to the world... come to think of it perhaps if they had blogs back then these guys would have found a better outlet for their energy than to kill millions of people? World War 2 and Communist oppression might have been prevented if the world wide web was founded a century earlier! Wow isnt that amazing? Here's to happy blogging!

2004-12-06T00:31:00.000+08:00

The most important album of the 20th century